Here is my rant bout 2010.

2010 is coming to an end. Being me, I'm feeling perplexed as ever.

Possibilities of feeling emotional :
1) I vow to let go of someone I like, which is nearly impossible as you would put it. What a way to end 2010, right?
2) SPM is not far away.
3) Graduate from the school and getting into the REAL deal- cruel world, or as I call it the 2nd Hell.
4) I don't recognize myself anymore and I'm not even kidding here. Sometimes I just feel that I've changed a lot, not able to figure out whether it's a good thing.

2010's been good, but I hope for the better for 2011.

I've truly learnt a lot about

Relationship
you love someone and it's not necessary for them to love you back.
Don't miss someone as if you're missed the same way, cause it'd only hurt you.
Quote Mike, the one you're missing won't ever know how much you miss him or how much you're suffering from missing him.
Conclusion? Give it up before it gets deep.
Happy endings in fairytales NEVER existed.

Friendship
Friends are the only ones who will have your back, at all times.
No matter how you fell flat on your face in relationship, no matter what kind of trouble you've got yourself into, they're always there.
I'd choose friendship over relationship, after everything that had happened.

Family
They're the anchor amidst all the highs and lows. Enough said for this one.

2011, please be better.

They'd say it's a shame to hide your love, not able to express it to the person you're madly in love with. As for me, all I'm gonna do is to bury my feelings and have a new start.
Sadistic as ever, this is how life works.

one litre tears.

Elaine :

darling sayang 2011~ ♥
part 1:
seriously, even the synopsis of our stories are really far beyond the capacity of facebook typing limits even when we only been together for like A MONTH! X)
A really true friend, that i trust! :) you helped and gave me lots n lots, still rmb that you recommended me to be one of the co-op's member even when i... was new, and.. continue in part2! *too long :P

part2:
share bout your crush with me, same house for sports! i was really overjoyed to
have such a good n caring friend like you :'D we even went to BSC together! :P
and later on we bcame darling and sayang, that was so memorable! ♥ we even got wrote in for the prefect selection together, too bad, i left when i got it :( but i stil...l miss you so much after 4 years! ♥...
continue part 3! xD

part3:
i truly apprectiate what u've done for me and i will never forget our deep love of friendship! ♥ T^T
i can t never afford to lose you as you are my number1 bestie and number1 sayang! ♥
LOVE YOU MUCH SAYANG! ♥
...MWAH! ♥

Bryan Ong.

2020 oh hello there. I remember you coming up to me and ask for my email. Hahah, you seem like a nice girl to me. Had some great conversation with you. :)

Bryan Wang

Dear 2011, I'm not too familiar with you, but plenty of my friends are, and I can assume you're pretty awesome too :D, good luck for SPM next year :D,

Well, blame it on boredom but those messages are really touching.
Few more messages like this actually but just wanna make this a quick update for the neglected blog.

I want you to know that I'll love you always, though I don't say it.
I'm really sorry I wasn't at my best, seriously. So much of drama's been going on but now I'm all better. Without anyone of you, I wouldn't be what I am now. Thank you. (:
of course, THANKS to those who are always here for me when I fall and say "I'll have your back!" that's indeed helpful!
Last but not least, people who make me smile. (:

x

As I promised, this post is gonna be a reminisce of 2010, a good ending for better comings I suppose. It's gonna be pretty long. You're warned. (:

January
First or second day of school was scary. Frankly speaking, I'm paranoid to be streamed, I never thought I'm good enough compared to other brilliant students. Well, I got into 4 cekap and absolutely thankful for it.
'4 cekap (:' on the exercise books definitely make a good memory in 2010.

February
Oh I only can think of CNY, didn't go to some fancy restaurant for reunion dinner, instead, we had steamboat at home. It was indeed a great bonding time. (:



March
*drum rolls* IT'S MY B'DAY MONTH YO!
okay maybe not so captivated.
9th of March was the FIRST day of the FIRST exam ever in form 4,
subjects? BM and SEJARAH.
But got lovely presents from people, and b'day wishes that flooded my FB account.
I seriously love you guys! <3 style="font-size:130%;">

April
April fools. Got teased by Man Hou for laughing too much. X)

May
Probably the hardest month to endure but hey! it's the past now.
I learnt from it, I've seen the worst one can do.
Mid term results were satisfying. (:

June
went to the Lighthouse Orphanage for a visit. That's indeed memorable.
Some people need a lifetime just to figure what life is all about, what we should treasure and such. I'm lucky enough to realise all of those things in 2010.



July
I was in the midst of preparation for August's monthly test. Knowing me, it didn't turn out the way I expected it to be.
Despite that, Katrina and I entered the Giant Board Game at Times Square, didn't expect to win really, but WE DID! The happiness is beyond what words can describe.
We went to do facial too! oh boy, we suffered like cows.

our prize!

August
Okay this is so dramatic.
It all started with my question to Farahin, "Why are we going to the auditorium?" "for some BM choral speaking" she replied.
In my head, I was imagining our school people were gonna perform some choral speaking, it certainly didn't excite me.
But it seemed pretty serious in the auditorium, with En Khairi's talk and all.
GUESS WHAT? We're getting outta the school for a month! Okay, for the bored, I find it'd make a good getaway from all these dramas which have been going on in the school.
Definitely a good way to meet new friends.
This is the month when I found out what it takes to make a good friend.

I actually miss the outfit which I once laughed at.

Okay I'll stop here for tonight. Gonna crash! xx

Day 1 - something I hate about myself

I, sometimes take jokes to heart.
I don't take it seriously when someone confesses simply because I doubt if anyone would like me.

I push myself too hard.
I compare sometimes, which indirectly upsets me.

worst of them yet,
I don't have the initiative to make the first move to get someone I like.

I KNOW I had another challenge but I didn't like it. Cause I don't wanna frigging describe what I'm wearing. So well, I doubt if anyone of you out there who really understands me, I'll take this opportunity to tell you about myself. :P



Day 01 - Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

It's been a long time, well, I doubt if anyone still reads this, but stats tell me yes so it's a yes then.

I'll have a PROPER update b4 2010 ends. Like a grand finale for 2010 to end. 2010's been torturous really.




Have you ever loved someone so much you'd give an arm for?

Yes I have.

Yet what happened? Conclusion : I can't be bothered no more.

Emotions just HAD to hunt me down once in a blue moon, uh?

I can't get you off my mind.

(:

sometimes I don't seem to blog about happy things because I don't wanna jinx it. I'm scared. Some point in life where you seem to be boasting how blissful your life is THEN everything starts to fall. That sucks, doesn't it?

Life's definitely a joke I can't seem to understand.

I'm saying this for the 3rd time and mean it, 2010 abhors me.

Sometimes I'm clueless on what I'm being tested. I don't know the purpose of all these things happening to me.

I just wanna die.

I feel so betrayed, unloved, under appreciated and unimportant.

Got it from Farah's fb profile. I personally, totally agreed with it.

So now, everyone of us clearly knows that WE can't come together as one as there's always conflict somewhere in between groups, or even 2 individuals. Why? Peace and serenade ain't hard to be achieved after all, ya know.

I'm sick of it.

People judge. People assume. People accuse. People come, people go.

-I'm building up those walls, just to test if someone cares enough to break it down.

finished.

THANK YOU GOD! (:

the war is finally done and over with.
and no, it's not the Korea one we're talking bout here.

love my new blogskin heh.

endless

I wonder when can you ever be done with the criticism.


whoever thinks he's correct WITHOUT listening to my side of explanation, termination of our friendship. I mean it. I'm sick of it. kthxbai.

quote :

I was laying down on the trampoline with my 6 year old cousin looking at the clouds.

As a bunch of birds flew over us, she smiled and said "I wish I was a bird. I could fly around and see the whole world, maybe even visit grandma in heaven...do you think god would let me visit just for a little bit?"

I miss being little.

cookies n cream.

Cookies n Cream Ice Cream

You are a sweet person. People like you for your innocence and charming nature. You appreciate the finer things in life. You are a practical person, but at times you are emotional. You get nostalgic about your past. You will be successful in romance.

Successful in romance? I wish. (:


After all, It only took me less than 24 hours to forget you.

--------

According to you, I complain too much bout my life. You hate me for that.
I personally think YOU HATE ME FOR WHAT I AM.

when your friends go emo you'd give them hugs.
Me? All I got was "you need psychology help" "your stupid pride" etc stuff which tear me even more inside. Have you EVER cared bout me really?

TELL THE WORLD I'M A LIAR.

I'm a liar. I've put up quite a show, I've never ever loved you before. TAKE THAT!

I wish I had no feelings at all.

After all that I've tried and all those moments I couldn't put myself together, you just wanna see me suffering from the cruel world like you'd imagined.

You don't see what I feel. You don't see my tears streaming down my cheeks reading your smses. You don't know what's behind everything.

You assumed, accused then you left. What am I left with? Absolutely nothing.

Now that I know what you think. I'll leave for my own good, or rather for your sake.

I never ever expected this to happen, so hard to take in yet so tough to take the anger and hatred out.

I've never been anywhere as cold as you.

Go spread the rumour around, tell the world I blame you for nuts.

My explanation is : I've never wanted to blame you. I just wanna shove the fact into your head, that I don't need you to make me a sadder child than I already am.

I'll just leave, okay?

I won't post hate posts bout you on FACEBOOK, you do that. I afraid not. That will only show your generosity is as low as drain is.

This is what happens to us for being a FRIEND.

screw you.

Some point in life, everyone should learn to give up on ramblings and stop depending on people we've always relied on.


change your priorities in life. This is what I gotta do, right now.

Yes, I'm a liar, so sue me.

Truth be told, I've missed you, I've loved you, I've had some trust in you, I'd always forgive you for your mistakes - just like what I would do for anybody else, but sadly it's NOT vice versa.
I rant, I get scoldings. I've poured my heart out to you, you ignored. So I finally realised I'm nothing. Moving on, I'll eventually get outta here, I believe.

People come, people go. So why should I keep holding on to you? There are million of people in this world, be it heartbreakers or liars, you're just like one of them. and out of the million people, I surely can find one that's more trustworthy, honest and more of a soulmate to me.

So what's with all these emotional posts that are mostly caused by YOU? I'll work on that. (:

look at you, look at me. I've become what I DON'T want to be. If you aren't one of my priorities anymore, then I should go back to what I was.

this eternal love.

I certainly love smsing my dad.

me : "Went for a game of bowling and failed epically. D: "
dad : "yeah, bowling needs practice. I'm quite good at bowling hehehe"
me : "that was my first time ): and the ball was too heavy for me. ):

20112010

The fact that holidays are here certainly hasn't hit me yet. I'm slow, I know.

I've been busy and still am for the next week. Tuitions are still on, 3 hours AT LEAST everyday.

"So what if you have tuition everyday?" he said.
Please try living my life. THEN ONLY you'll shut up.

I just hate it when I put in total effort and ain't appreciated.

back to December.

We've finally got our freedom back! :D

To be frank, I find this boring. Spending 4 hours for nap, then internet. Bearing in mind that FB has nothing special anymore but I JUST can't help it. Contradiction ftw.

We're gonna return our text books 2moro, which is good, we won't be learning anymore b4 the holidays come. Teehee =D

I'm really in love with Taylor Swift's new album - Speak Now.
Here is one of my favourites. (:
The lyrics are so significant =')

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

All the time

- I really hate the feeling of missing someone. You actually know that you aren't in their mind, but you can't get them off your mind. Complicated as life has always been.

Rose's turn.

It's random but it came across my mind, why do I need to be reminded constantly that I have a public journal?

It's been quite some time.

Finals are happening and I really screwed most of my papers up, or I should admit I screwed ALL OF THE PAPER I'VE SAT FOR. Life's so sweet.

History stabbed me in the back when I was facing the 2 others enemies, namely Add Maths and Maths. I fell on my knees and add maths shot me in the head, just to make sure I'm dead... -uh, screw this man! I'm gonna die out of stress and boredom!

What's happening to the world? Physics paper 1 was honestly, the easiest among those papers, and it used to the paper I loathe the most.

Accounts are gonna slice me into slices of ham. D:

Chemistry is gonna burn my body into ashes.

Look how we have fun when finals are going on. :D

People leave you when you need them the MOST.

I really do care about myself, I'm going for Nike run to gain experience, not to get harmed. I'm hurt too when I see you getting hurt by ME. I'm sorry, I truly am.

What's with keeping the truth to myself, not being able to express what I really feel?
Truth to be told, I miss you.
I just find that it would be strange to tell you, I have no reasons to tell you. Besides, I can't find a way to tell you. How am I gonna say it? You won't feel the same as I do anyway.
Nowadays, I find myself pathetic checking your profile over and over again because I miss you way too much. I miss what we were, which impossibly will happen again.

people are too incomprehensible.

jealous beetch.

10 minutes to 10pm. I still have sometime for this abandoned blog. (:

Woke up at 7am feeling like P. Diddy.
4 hours of accounts tuition ALMOST had me suicidal, thank you.
But, good things don't come before long, do they?
Suhaini A'aina's open house was awesome yo. Wore baju kebaya for the first time and it feels good. (:
Bunch of lovelies were there too. Definitely good memories. (:

can someone answer me,
WHY IS LIFE SO PROBLEMATIC and MELODRAMATIC?
Don't fcking spam my chatbox and answer what I really wanna know, pretty please?

Oh wells.

After this whole incident, I'm actually getting closer with people. It's pretty good.
but I'm seriously upset knowing their situations. I'm on the same boat, apparently everyone is.
I just don't understand why. It's all caused by one person with rotten attitude. Can't we live in peace?

Why should I spend my time here, pouring my heart out to this blog more like talking to a wall, getting no response at all but to keep me thinking bout all these problems?

I feel so ninja that you can't see me when I'm right there.
BIG THANKS.

you came into my life and didn't like where you found, then you left.
Little did you know that those memories are killing me.

we so called 4 cekap.

This is probably the craziest class I've been in.
-this line is old, but do click to enlarge (: -

We had a class party on Monday, 27th if I'm not mistaken x)
Of sparkling juices, expired ZIP chocolate, "kek batik", and everything else, we 4 cekap-ians are awesome. (:

How can I not miss it later in life? Sigh.

Nostalgia kills.

Calvin Klein LOL


awesome bunch of lovelies.


We Glee fanatics. (:


with them guys.

vain, camwhore girl.
a.k.a
Yours sincerely
LOL

red is scary.

This is probably one of the happiest news, ever.
My dad's buying me a DSLR! =D
Let's hope that's promising. (:
I guess I'll get Canon 60D, if that's not off budget X)

Truth to be told, I feel like such a brat. D:
Maybe I get things too easily, but I don't take them for granted.
Thanks for DSLR and Taiwan trip in advance, dad. Love you. (:
and no, I don't say love just because you are buying me a DSLR, I really do. You're awesome.

I feel rather depressed nowadays. Finals in exactly 3 weeks. Look what I'm doing, blogging away, have my butt stick on the chair surfing the internet like there's no tomorrow.
Maybe you should really see some red remarks on your report card, yi sin.

Prefect's dinner, Genting, Nike Run, A'aina's open house all BEFORE the finals. Joy.

I'm certainly panicking. D: D:

sony T99D

Ain't it gorgeous? (:

It's gonna be a really long time before I can get it.
Sometimes I wonder, do I really need to work so hard in saving money just to get a damn compact camera when everyone else gets it effortlessly?
After all, I just wanna know how it feels like to be on my own for once and try my best to appreciate my belongings.
Worth it?
So much for this learning process. I've been telling myself to be appreciative for 2 yrs now. I don't really know the purpose. Maybe I've lost someone who's truly important to me, or maybe I simply don't wanna be a take-things-for-granted brat.

I'm pretty sure this gorgeous camera is gonna be owned by someone who's more awesome than me. Ngeh D:

I miss you. Sigh.

Maybe the best I can do is not showing you any feelings, so that I won't get hurt knowing you don't feel the same.

Wiped out. Totally hating mixed feelings. Sigh.

It's funny how we make someone important in our lives when they don't give two shyts bout us.

I wish I could read your personality as clear as the words you wrote on the wall.

I miss you.

On the other hand, I have absolutely no idea what to do. I enjoy talking to you, but I don't want history to happen again. It's frustrating when you loose someone you appreciate.

You've put on such an entertaining show. (:

Happy mooncake festival, people! =D

Enjoyed eating Lychee Greentea mooncake though. =D


Praline and cream + chocolate chip cookie dough = <3 , total indulgence and guilty pleasure

Meat-kini

School resumed today, I guess I'm slowly getting used to it. Gotta kick ass in studies. (:
Not I want to, just HAVE to. Get my drift?

Had extreme fun today with them guys. Laugh goes viral, when you cry, crouch in the corner with only your lonely self.

I was all good until the WE started quarreling. My mood was totally ruined, seriously.
I got criticized for using " =.= "
SMS doesn't determine whether I am a good friend, if you think I'm rude and no good then stay away, I can't possibly do anything bout your hatred towards me.
As if millions of people aren't using =.= emoticon, it's just an emoticon for heaven's sake!
and you're definitely not someone who knows me enough to hear exactly how I sound through the smses. You went on picking on my mistake forever,
In the end, you accused that I need serious help. I said you need to learn forgive and forget. You said I'm the last person to teach you that, I replied I certainly don't need help from you. Is that what you want?
I just hate senseless and stupid questions, it's just my nature I can't stand it, is it fully my fault? D:


on the brighter note,


The talk show host/comedienne and animal-rights organization are taking issue with Lady Gaga’s latest envelope-pushing “garment,” as pictured on this foreign Vogue Hommes cover.

DeGeneres grilled (hey-o!) Gaga on her chat fest — which began its eighth season — this morning, saying “I get most of your outfits. You have the meat bikini on and now the meat dress…because I’m vegan…What is the purpose of the meat?”

To which Gaga responded:

“Well, it is certainly no disrespect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian,” Gaga said. “As you know, I am the most judgment-free human being on the Earth. However, it has many interpretations, but for me this evening if we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our bones. And, I am not a piece of meat.”

“In her line of business, Lady Gaga has a hard time being ‘over the top,’ and wearing a dress made from cuts of dead cows is offensive enough to bring comment, but someone should whisper in her ear that there are more people upset by butchery than impressed by it—and that means a lot of young people will not be buying her records if she keeps it up. … Meat is the decomposing flesh of an abused animal who didn’t want to die, and after time spent under the TV lights, it would smell like the rotting flesh that it is and likely be crawling in maggots—not too attractive, really. If Lady Gaga continues to wear meat, the perfect accessory would be a PETA vegetarian/vegan starter kit.” - Gotcha, G

Despite those comments, I still support Lady Gaga. At the very least, she has the initiative to stand up for the rights we all deserve, what about YOU, those who commented.

Day 5 - MY definition of love

You sure know that love is patient love is kind. I totally believe that :)

I'd say there are many types of love.
-oh gosh, why does it sound like an essay-
I'd figured it's better if I confess now, rather than when everything's too late.

Friends

Know that I truly appreciate ya'll just the way you are. Don't pretend, I love you for what you are, not your 2nd face. We're at the same pace, no one is inferior to anyone. I'll be by your side anytime you need me. I promise to be a good friend.

Family

I'm learning how not to take everything you give for granted. =)
Know that you're the most important ones in my life.

My belongings

I'm sorry if I drop you on the floor, it's just my nature. D:
Know that I love you =)

there comes the shallow one,

Relationship

What can I say more bout this? It's all puppy love at this age, don't live in denial. I was a fool once and I'm sick of it. Nothing lasts forever and NO, your love-of-your-life can't be that 'NOTHING'
It's just another form of friendship damage.


Is there any more? I can't think of any.

Well, last but not least,

I really do appreciate even the slightest changes you guys made in my life, I wouldn't be who I am without ANYONE of you. Good or bad I shouldn't be the judge, but I know I've changed tremendously these few years.
I've grown wiser.
I've learnt life lessons the hard way and ain't regretting it.

We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.

Note to self

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart

because, when you do it, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, instead.

I sure am lying if I say it's okay to pretend.
I'm not so sure, I have absolutely no idea why most of the people are double-faced. Are you happy with it?
Cause I dread to stay with you, I can't survive in your world where you just keep pretending so perfectly like it runs in your blood.
Tell me how to pretend so that I'll be a happy child.

I hope you disappear in my life, honestly.

How you claimed how much you hate that person but in the end you STILL are clinging to, well, that person. I don't get the logic.

I have principles in life. I don't go around pretending I love my enemy. and now it becomes my weakness. What's wrong with the world?

So, I'm left with no choice but to PRETEND TO SURVIVE?


-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From BryanOng's blog :

I don’t get it sometimes. People tend to assume everything. From the beginning till the end. They judge. They jump to the conclusion. And I don’t like it.

People are leaving because of this attitude they’re having. They judge, then they assume. And they don’t like what they found. So they leave.

blardy true.

Love is essential

it would always be a put-on, high school or not, for the whole rest of the world, for the rest of our lives. you couldn’t ever guess who someone was by the way they looked because, good or bad, the way they looked was always just a costume or an act. it was halloween every day, for most people anyways, just to feel like they weren’t alone, to belong, just to keep being happy maybe.

There is only one page left to write on. I will fill it with words of only one syllable. I love. I have loved. I will love.

Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife

I'm sick. Feeling nauseous now. I guess this is the result having
Mcdonald's Sausage Mcmuffin for breakfast
Haagen Dazs and fried rice from Chatterbox
Pizza Hut for dinner


and

letting instant noodles become your best friend,
seeking for 5 mins nap on the couch become your hobby.

of food and gladiator sandals

Day 3- What you ate today, in great detail

I'm sorry if the picture isn't nice, but I can ensure you it tasted heavenly delicious and it was mouthwatering, scrumptious and everything nice!

It's PERI-PERI CHICKEN from SUSHI KING.
In case you wanna give it a try. =)

Peri-peri usually means spicy.
It's made of chicken nuggets with teriyaki sauce, chili powder and mayonnaise. Dressed with carrot, cabbage and onion. Well, those are my top favourite veggies.
Ate it with rice, JAPANESE rice! So much nicer and filling. Side dishes are miso soup and chawanmushi. Loves.
Had yakult as the drink. Healthy choice. =P


and...... *drums roll*

I had this as dessert!



Ogura ice cream.
It's basically just vanilla flavoured ice cream with red bean paste. Pretty delectable.


Well, that's pretty much about it.
Hearty dinner I must say. =D



----------------------------------------

Had great time at MV today, shopped for clothes! hehe. Well, didn't buy those gorgeous gladiator sandals though. D:

Now I regret not getting this shirt. Though it exposes the lala-ness in me. LOL

Yours truly. (:

When love isn't a dream anymore

I guess I'm not being able to express whatever I'm currently feeling. Sigh.

You made today really enjoyable yet unbearable. If it makes sense.
It was bittersweet.

Bitter because it reminded me all the reasons why I loved you.
Sweet because it reminded me you've always been the one who cares for me, even the littlest things in life.

It was really awesome to see you driving.

I'm guilty when you say you're gonna be insomnia till the day we go out again, and you don't know when to look forward to. My heart drops hearing that. D:

I promise I'll be the one you can ALWAYS count on, and I promise there's next time, unless melodramatic changes happen in my life.

so much for wonderful Sunday

I was looking forward to shopping with Jian until WengSum told me my accs class is at 1pm 2moro. Real -nuggets.

Then the drama continues this morning. I had to wake up at 9am (slept at 3am) and sms to double confirm with the teacher, what happened? SHE DIDN'T FREAKING REPLY. The hell? You left me out and didn't inform me. I wasn't pissed off about it before 2 hours of waiting for your reply.
I had to tell my dad before you could reply
and THEN he would ask, did you confirm with your teacher?
No.
Whydidntyouconfirmwithherbeforetellingme?!

YOU TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO? I'm not intelligent enough to prevent this from happening okay? Get outta my way if you're gonna ruin my life. Peace.

of Dt and Kt

Hi, my blog ain't your advertising space FYI.
ThankYouVeryMuch.

I dare not to say I've done my accounts project really. I've said it bout 5 times and yet my tuition teacher keeps changing stuff. Well, now that I'm done with the numbering, let's just hope there's no more changes. =)
I hate changes.

I guess the penghargaan in the project is really shallow. and since I feel like saying thanks to people, here goes.

I really appreciate what my tuition teacher's done. Without her we really wouldn't know what the heck are we supposed to do. Whether she is paid to teach us or not, Thank you, Mdm Leong =)
and also for the time when you lent your laptop.
So pitiful that her name isn't supposed to appear in the penghargaan. Ngeh.

Thank you dad for buying the cartridge. LOL.

I personally think the project is not worth it. It's only 10 marks in SPM, we still have another upcoming project in form 5, what the heck?

wasted papers, electricity, sleeping hours, studying hours, RM150, melodrama, heartbreaking moments and it equals to 10marks in SPM, ONLY. The hell.

I seriously don't know what are you thinking bout. I guess our educational system is on the wrong track here.

Eat, Pray, Love

“ People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”

SelamatHariRaya

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI to all my muslim friends

Today was indeed a productive day.
Went to KLCC bookfest 2010 for 3 hours. This shows how passionate we are bout reading, no? =D
Basil @ BangsarVillage for lunch, then headed to accs tuition.

I've been told there's an Indian festival going on 2moro.
so, HAPPY CHARTURTHI FAST!!
hehe. We, Malaysians are all united.
Thx Hema for telling me <3>

IMY

I miss you

I read old texts from you and wish things were back like how they used to be.

Isn't it

Funny how we used to be extremely close, now we're complete strangers.

"Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?" I hope you'll soon realize

When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along.

and that'd be me, because

I'm still thinking of you, even if I don't text you.
I guess you'll never know
The worst thing is being forgotten about by someone you will never forget.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm dreaming for something that won't happen, because
I wish I was as important to you, as you are to me.
Don't fail me, as I never wanna feel this again -
You think you are close to someone but realise they don't care.
I shouldn't and
I promise not to view your page anymore so I won't hurt myself.
I really wanna tell you this, and hope you understand
It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.
I hate that feeling like you're getting replaced by someone else.

Well, lines in black are the groups I joined on Facebook and I find them quite true. =)
and this post is my confession.

get a grip

I finally get my butt to continue the 30days challenge. =P

Today I'm suppose to write on my parents, in great detail.

Well, I'm all thankful to have them, because I won't be who I am now without them.

My dad, he made me a rather organized and thoughtful person. He's always been there to remind me I have to plan things ahead, even the littlest things in life. Indirectly, I'm prepared for almost everything in life. He's made me into a hygiene freak, too. LOL. I spend hours cleaning up my room before I start studying.

My mom's always been caring. Whenever we go Starbucks, no coffee for me cause she's afraid I can't sleep at night. Heh. I always look at the bright side although it sucks not having awesome coffee at Starbucks, with her. She'd try her best to help me in studies whenever I fall. And now, because I love them beyond words can tell, I've decided to work hard on my own.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Had a deep and fruitful conversation with Bryan Ong. =)
I'm glad to meet all of ya'll in the choral speaking. Sometimes I ponder if I should attend the outing but the stalkers part is rather annoying.

---------------------------------------------------------

OMG I must say I'm freaking talented I just fixed the toilet flush! kthxbai.

---------------------------------------------------------
p/s: I just discovered another hidden talent of mine. BAKING!
Woots. Well, not really. I just baked those cornflakes cookies. Heh. Cookies cause I didn't have baking cups at home. Pffft. The best thing is, this is the first time and I've got compliments. =P

Was trying out the new DVD player we bought. To me it's okay, I mean, I'm not fascinated like the rest of my family is. LOL.
Cause all I want is iPod touch 4G.
Gorgeous, I've finally found you. How to get it IS the problem. D:

----------------------------------------------------------

pps : It's so darn annoying to see your posts on my news feed. damnit. You're such an attention seeker, get outta my way.

I feel like a terrible human being.

If you could have one chance to seek forgiveness, whom will it be from?

THERE is a time and place for everything. Indeed, it was only a matter of time before this day was decided upon. Last week, a group of individuals and organisations jointly declared Sept 5 as Say Sorry Day.

It's 12.03am now, considered 5th Sept.

I hereby apologize for whatever wrong I've done =)

I know there are times I'd be disrespectful when I wasn't in the mood, exhausted and whatnot. I didn't mean it though.

I don't wanna be a heartbreaker anymore.

I feel like dying. Ngeh D:

I have to get loads of things done yet I have absolutely no idea where to start.
Unorganized? Don't blame me, I'm exhausted.

Getaway's with the lovely bunch of sweethearts is definitely worth looking forward to. <3

Emotions hit me like hurricane.
I wish I have the power to acknowledge it b4 it crunches its grinding steps in my miserable life.

What am I talking about? Sigh.

I wish you'd give me the chance to stay by your side.
Kat, here you go. <3


( *｀ω´)
♪(´ε｀ )
（＾Ｏ＾☆♪

you.

I wish if I miss you hard enough, you'll acknowledge that someone's waiting for you out there.

can goodbye's not be as harsh as this?

I hate that I've forgotten so many things that used to be essential to my life.

I've forgotten how to sing, to write, to not care what others think, to love, to be a good friend, to trust, to be happy.

I'm slowly dying because I've forgotten how to live.

True, isn't it?

------------------------------------------------------------

Got this from Alex's blog and totally agree with it.

ONCE - You must fall in love with your bestfriend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship & more.

ONCE - You must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect, you will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.

AND ONCE- you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you, this will teach you about who you are and who you want to be.

And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones you needed the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this Earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.

----------------------------------------------------------------
and now, let's talk bout the contradiction to what I first thought,

I'm dying as the performance is over.

The reasons?

I've learnt more about Malaysia, this might sound weird from someone like me, but yes, I did. Patriotism is stronger than ever in me right now.
I've never done anything more than just watched 10mins of the Merdeka celebration every year. This year is definitely a year to remember.
It's been a month of CS training, from burning under the open oven in MBS to the stuffy Stadium Cheras THEN Stadium Titiwangsa and finally, Stadium Bukit Jalil.
I love you guys.
From total strangers to real friends, this friendship felt forever.

CS training WAS a torture to me, at some point in time I was reluctant to attend the practice.
Until 31st August approaching, I was upset as it's coming to an end.
I hope things last forever, really.

I'm upset because I have no trust. I don't believe people can keep in touch for a long time, I don't believe people won't be forgotten. But these are the things I really want it to happen.

As a Malaysian, I'm really tired of listening to racial conflicts.
To be frank, I'm nonchalant bout who has more rights, I just seriously hope our educational system will be fair to everyone of us, especially those who are determined to achieve their dreams.
I've been there, being treated with what I didn't deserve, and FINALLY done that.
I don't want anyone to experience the same.

We can be the best of friends although different races. What matters most is ATTITUDE.
Agreed?

Here we go, because we're satu Malaysia.

I'd reply with the exact same thing you said to me, "it's great meeting a friend like you"

Passes to our friendship yo.

so,
WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN WE SAY KL?

ps: I only have one measly day to adjust myself back to the study mode. Ngeh D:

day off?

I just realised I've never appreciated holidays as much as I do NOW.

I've been sleep deprived ever since the CS practice has started.
I'm not complaining, instead, I'm gonna be frank
I'M SO GONNA MISS YOU GUYS, ALL OF YOU.

You guys are the most awesome random freaks I've met so far. Life's so much more colourful with you around.

Breaking out singing We Will Rock You, asking Selangor teachers for duit raya, singing Balik Kampung when boredom almost killed all of us at Stadium Bukit Jalil, those were the times.

So, today was the last practice. I'm already feeling nostalgic.

31st August is gonna be a great day as we're about to make a new page in Malaysian History. =)
1st year ever we're holding our Merdeka celebration in an indoor stadium yo.

---------------------------------------------

I wish for a rather peaceful vacation. Without annoyance, problems. It's just me myself and I and breath taking scenery.
When can I write 'check' on my wish list?

Because forgetting is as painful as being forgotten.

I wish I could remember every moment when you're here. Time reveals the ugly truth, and it never stops for anyone.
Without you, the sun still shines, birds still hum melodies that rhyme.
I'm sorry I broke my promise.
This explains why I'll never promise anything anymore but to work hard for it.

cause curly fries never failed to cheer me up.

Was at Stadium Bukit Jalil for the full rehearsal of Merdeka celebration Of all the underestimation we've made, now, I'd like to confess that the performances are WAY BEYOND awesome, or so I think.

We all love that disco lightnings, don't we? ;P

Teachers from Selangor are cool yo.

Pics are up on FB, well, partially. I don't wanna spoil it for ya'll since I took videos of almost all performances. Things I do for this splendid celebration, I actually transferred ALL my pics in the phone to the laptop. So if I accidentally delete it in the laptop, I'd be left with nothing. D:


Just remembered I almost died suffering from gossips. Well, I'm sitting right in front of these 2 major, desperate, ultimate stalkers. They've been talking bout guys from our school and never shut it up. They screamed. They sang Justin Bieber's songs. (KILL ME) They translate songs to BM. They couldn't stop saying BRACES. They claimed our guys are dumb. Is that how they show their love?

You get my drift. I'm annoyed. For the first few days I thought it was normal. BUT they're getting so vain by the day. Gosh. I'm glad I wasn't in a girls school.

I don't look forward listening to their gossips anymore. Really. I can't stand it sitting on the cold, hard floor where everyone asks you to make way and they just can't keep quiet for a moment.
I'm exhausted over there, waiting for hours just to finish 2 rounds of choral speaking which is barely 20mins. Sigh.

ps: I miss you quite terribly. D:

If I haven't told you how much you people mean to me, here is.
I can't live without anyone of you.

If I haven't told you how thankful I am that you are here, here is.
Thanks, babes. =)

I can't possibly find the right words to express myself right now. But I hope you can understand.

It's great waking up knowing someone who cares, lotsa people who are there.

Perfection is what everyone looks for. I'm sorry, I'm far from that.
I'm sorry if I can't reach your expectations. I'm sorry if I failed to follow those instructions.
But I hope you know, resentment kills.


-------------------------------------------

What you don't know can't hurt you.

Argh, I should have known that.
The moment I said I don't care, I shouldn't look back anymore.
Now, I hate myself for being curious.

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

I don't give a hoot about what you think.




first, stereotype doesn't apply to me. After all, I'm just trying to lead my life decently and...NORMALLY. Just like anyone of you. I need attention at times, but I never needed extra attention other than caring. I feel so insecured, almost everyone is finding my flaws. I'm imperfect, neither are you. Some people make me feel I'm everything bad in one. On the other hand, some make me feel the other way around, I don't know what to think seriously.

You SHOULD get to know me before judging.

secondly, I hope you can understand, I don't wanna get ANYONE involved in any trouble I created. ANYONE. People like to spread rumours like, "your parents didn't bring you up well".
I'm defensive, don't ever talk bad about my parents. You're warned. =)


thirdly, trouble is where you can see who are your real friends. Thanks to those who ARE with me. =) I don't wanna mention names cause I don't want any names to be left out.

In reply,

Mike : I will face the music. I never wanted to escape.
Amithaa : yes, it's good if I can take a break from this.
Lavina: thx for supporting lol.
Khairi: thanks for talking to me for hours =)
Jemimah: thanks for the advice. =)

Thx to Pui Yee, Kok Yan and Yarl as well. lol.

I really love you guys for understanding. It's beyond words can tell.



to the others, It'll be appreciated if you don't ask? Until I get things sorted out. ThankYouVeryMuch.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life's been hectic, as always?

I've been staying up till 1am to finish the whole accounts project.
and everyday's routine : CS practice, tuition after tuition

I'm home sick sometimes.

How I love saturdays.

OOOOH, and, I'm broke for the 2nd time in August!
B4 going MV : RM250 in purse
After : RM10

EPIC heh.

Buying new clothes cure anything. =)

Fav quote at the moment, "fake it until you make it" =)

I'm not a brat. sigh. I just lack of clothes =)

-----------------------------------------------

ON THE BRIGHTER NOTE, -like finally-

I didn't screw up the whole monthly test, besides BM of course. =/

satisfied with add maths results, same goes to maths.

feel accomplished for chemistry results.


-----------------------------------------------



KAT! =D


This is dedicated to you. =)

Life's hectic but we all have to go through it. Anyway it is, I'm with you. =)
and remember, I LOVE YOU TOO! =D

cheers! =)


---------------------------------------------
ahh, reserved.

I'll do the 2nd post, first love in detail.

I should get over him.

That's all. =D
the words say it all don't they?

can we pretend that the airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now.

Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail


------------------------------------------------
I'm starting with day 1- introduction.

You may call me yi sin. But not by my surname, only.
At the age of 16.

Little things can make me smile. :)
But when I'm not in good mood everything tends to get on my nerves.

I think the world should be fair to everyone of us.
I believe everyone deserves a second chance.

I'm quite commited to things I'm determined to succeed in.
I wanna be a doctor because I like the satisfaction when I help people.

I hate attention seekers.

I don't have a specific favourite food or drink. Anything suits me will do. but there are also hell load of stuff that I don't like. Fussy you may say.

I have deep thoughts.

I think human being is too hard to understand.
People change supersonically. =)

I am what I am.

Try to understand me and you will. =)

SCHOOL IS AWESOME BUT SOME IDIOTS JUST HAVE TO RUIN IT.


Literally idiots.

case 1 - cheat for food.
------------------------
I've been knowing it for the 3rd freaking time. Some people just have to be beggars, they can do AYTHING stupid for extra food.

YOU added another plate of noodles to your plate and you only paid one measly buck. Where do you think school is? PASAR MALAM? or promotion? Mee goreng 2 for the price of 1?!
WTH.

case 2 - uniforms.
--------------------
Enough said you think? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
Let me tell you this, if prefects weren't assigned to this job, we wouldn't give a damn bout your clothing.
We keep saying button up and tuck in EVERY DAMN DAY IN THE SCHOOL. Yet ya'll just won't listen. Then teachers blame us. You think who are we? Nannies? We have to ask ya'll to sit, stand, eat faster, BUTTON UP AND TUCK IN.
I have feelings some bitc*es removed their buttons on purpose. So they won't have to button.
Seriously, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU WANNA STRIP NAKED, JUST DO IT OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL. THANK YOU.

and the guys, here is. I don't care your slack is so low that you have to wear your belt on your ass. DO IT OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL. and no, it's honestly disgusting, none of you have nice butt btw that it doesn't make a difference between front view and the back.

TO THOSE WHO EVER PUSHED ME. *swallows all swear words*
I hope you'll get it one day. =)
To me, you're just another good-for-nothing-bit*h
I can find at least 3 flaws in you.
streaks of colour on you hair. Unbuttoned. Wear a ribbon for nothing. Hairband? Socks. Long nails.

case 3- eating in assemblies
--------------------------------

I HOPE YOU GET CHOCKED.

I know I'm mean. but from my point of view, when I ask you to stop eating and you just had to continue eating in my face. *swallows swear words again*
I'm not jealous of you eating when I can't, but your way of eating is like you've starved for a week.

Enough ranting.
thank you.

I'VE MET 4 GIRLS WHO HAVE THE SAME SHIRT AS MINE. THANK YOU.


I finally understand how it feels. D:


On a more depressive note...? =/

I've realized that the person whom you're crazy over, is most probably won't be crazy over you.
and the person whom you hold on to dearly is most likely to be the one you have to let go of one day.