can goodbye's not be as harsh as this?

I hate that I've forgotten so many things that used to be essential to my life.

I've forgotten how to sing, to write, to not care what others think, to love, to be a good friend, to trust, to be happy.

I'm slowly dying because I've forgotten how to live.

True, isn't it?

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Got this from Alex's blog and totally agree with it.

ONCE - You must fall in love with your bestfriend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship & more.

ONCE - You must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect, you will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.

AND ONCE- you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you, this will teach you about who you are and who you want to be.

And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones you needed the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this Earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.

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and now, let's talk bout the contradiction to what I first thought,

I'm dying as the performance is over.

The reasons?

I've learnt more about Malaysia, this might sound weird from someone like me, but yes, I did. Patriotism is stronger than ever in me right now.
I've never done anything more than just watched 10mins of the Merdeka celebration every year. This year is definitely a year to remember.
It's been a month of CS training, from burning under the open oven in MBS to the stuffy Stadium Cheras THEN Stadium Titiwangsa and finally, Stadium Bukit Jalil.
I love you guys.
From total strangers to real friends, this friendship felt forever.

CS training WAS a torture to me, at some point in time I was reluctant to attend the practice.
Until 31st August approaching, I was upset as it's coming to an end.
I hope things last forever, really.

I'm upset because I have no trust. I don't believe people can keep in touch for a long time, I don't believe people won't be forgotten. But these are the things I really want it to happen.

As a Malaysian, I'm really tired of listening to racial conflicts.
To be frank, I'm nonchalant bout who has more rights, I just seriously hope our educational system will be fair to everyone of us, especially those who are determined to achieve their dreams.
I've been there, being treated with what I didn't deserve, and FINALLY done that.
I don't want anyone to experience the same.

We can be the best of friends although different races. What matters most is ATTITUDE.
Agreed?

Here we go, because we're satu Malaysia.

I'd reply with the exact same thing you said to me, "it's great meeting a friend like you"

Passes to our friendship yo.

so,
WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN WE SAY KL?

ps: I only have one measly day to adjust myself back to the study mode. Ngeh D:

day off?

I just realised I've never appreciated holidays as much as I do NOW.

I've been sleep deprived ever since the CS practice has started.
I'm not complaining, instead, I'm gonna be frank
I'M SO GONNA MISS YOU GUYS, ALL OF YOU.

You guys are the most awesome random freaks I've met so far. Life's so much more colourful with you around.

Breaking out singing We Will Rock You, asking Selangor teachers for duit raya, singing Balik Kampung when boredom almost killed all of us at Stadium Bukit Jalil, those were the times.

So, today was the last practice. I'm already feeling nostalgic.

31st August is gonna be a great day as we're about to make a new page in Malaysian History. =)
1st year ever we're holding our Merdeka celebration in an indoor stadium yo.

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I wish for a rather peaceful vacation. Without annoyance, problems. It's just me myself and I and breath taking scenery.
When can I write 'check' on my wish list?

Because forgetting is as painful as being forgotten.

I wish I could remember every moment when you're here. Time reveals the ugly truth, and it never stops for anyone.
Without you, the sun still shines, birds still hum melodies that rhyme.
I'm sorry I broke my promise.
This explains why I'll never promise anything anymore but to work hard for it.

cause curly fries never failed to cheer me up.

Was at Stadium Bukit Jalil for the full rehearsal of Merdeka celebration Of all the underestimation we've made, now, I'd like to confess that the performances are WAY BEYOND awesome, or so I think.

We all love that disco lightnings, don't we? ;P

Teachers from Selangor are cool yo.

Pics are up on FB, well, partially. I don't wanna spoil it for ya'll since I took videos of almost all performances. Things I do for this splendid celebration, I actually transferred ALL my pics in the phone to the laptop. So if I accidentally delete it in the laptop, I'd be left with nothing. D:


Just remembered I almost died suffering from gossips. Well, I'm sitting right in front of these 2 major, desperate, ultimate stalkers. They've been talking bout guys from our school and never shut it up. They screamed. They sang Justin Bieber's songs. (KILL ME) They translate songs to BM. They couldn't stop saying BRACES. They claimed our guys are dumb. Is that how they show their love?

You get my drift. I'm annoyed. For the first few days I thought it was normal. BUT they're getting so vain by the day. Gosh. I'm glad I wasn't in a girls school.

I don't look forward listening to their gossips anymore. Really. I can't stand it sitting on the cold, hard floor where everyone asks you to make way and they just can't keep quiet for a moment.
I'm exhausted over there, waiting for hours just to finish 2 rounds of choral speaking which is barely 20mins. Sigh.

ps: I miss you quite terribly. D:

If I haven't told you how much you people mean to me, here is.
I can't live without anyone of you.

If I haven't told you how thankful I am that you are here, here is.
Thanks, babes. =)

I can't possibly find the right words to express myself right now. But I hope you can understand.

It's great waking up knowing someone who cares, lotsa people who are there.

Perfection is what everyone looks for. I'm sorry, I'm far from that.
I'm sorry if I can't reach your expectations. I'm sorry if I failed to follow those instructions.
But I hope you know, resentment kills.


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What you don't know can't hurt you.

Argh, I should have known that.
The moment I said I don't care, I shouldn't look back anymore.
Now, I hate myself for being curious.

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

I don't give a hoot about what you think.




first, stereotype doesn't apply to me. After all, I'm just trying to lead my life decently and...NORMALLY. Just like anyone of you. I need attention at times, but I never needed extra attention other than caring. I feel so insecured, almost everyone is finding my flaws. I'm imperfect, neither are you. Some people make me feel I'm everything bad in one. On the other hand, some make me feel the other way around, I don't know what to think seriously.

You SHOULD get to know me before judging.

secondly, I hope you can understand, I don't wanna get ANYONE involved in any trouble I created. ANYONE. People like to spread rumours like, "your parents didn't bring you up well".
I'm defensive, don't ever talk bad about my parents. You're warned. =)


thirdly, trouble is where you can see who are your real friends. Thanks to those who ARE with me. =) I don't wanna mention names cause I don't want any names to be left out.

In reply,

Mike : I will face the music. I never wanted to escape.
Amithaa : yes, it's good if I can take a break from this.
Lavina: thx for supporting lol.
Khairi: thanks for talking to me for hours =)
Jemimah: thanks for the advice. =)

Thx to Pui Yee, Kok Yan and Yarl as well. lol.

I really love you guys for understanding. It's beyond words can tell.



to the others, It'll be appreciated if you don't ask? Until I get things sorted out. ThankYouVeryMuch.

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Life's been hectic, as always?

I've been staying up till 1am to finish the whole accounts project.
and everyday's routine : CS practice, tuition after tuition

I'm home sick sometimes.

How I love saturdays.

OOOOH, and, I'm broke for the 2nd time in August!
B4 going MV : RM250 in purse
After : RM10

EPIC heh.

Buying new clothes cure anything. =)

Fav quote at the moment, "fake it until you make it" =)

I'm not a brat. sigh. I just lack of clothes =)

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ON THE BRIGHTER NOTE, -like finally-

I didn't screw up the whole monthly test, besides BM of course. =/

satisfied with add maths results, same goes to maths.

feel accomplished for chemistry results.


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KAT! =D


This is dedicated to you. =)

Life's hectic but we all have to go through it. Anyway it is, I'm with you. =)
and remember, I LOVE YOU TOO! =D

cheers! =)


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ahh, reserved.

I'll do the 2nd post, first love in detail.

I should get over him.

That's all. =D
the words say it all don't they?

can we pretend that the airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now.