Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Pros and drawbacks of studying MBBS

Stealing some time off from studying to write this post because lately I've seen and felt so much during my journey of pursuing MBBS. 

PROS OF STUDYING MBBS 
1. It's no doubt a noble job. What's more loving than healing a complete stranger (most of the time) that will later become friends after you've talked to them via history taking / simply caring for them? You don't expect anything in return really, because you hardly knew them before they came in to seek for medical attention. 

2. It's a satisfying job. (At least until we've passed the student and houseman period where we're treated like nobody) how do you not feel satisfied when you know you've made the right decision and more importantly giving the right treatment to make someone feel well again? 

3. Not everybody has the opportunity to study MBBS. To be honest I would not trade anything for it. Yes, I would love to travel around the world like my fellow friends do when they study abroad. Yes, I would love to start earning thousands of ringgit by investing or starting my own business. Yes, I would also love to live a life nurturing my hobbies. But deep down I know that studying MBBS is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Traveling around is good but I know that MBBS is worth it. It's already the most expensive course in local universities, not to mention the longest duration. I could've done business or law or any other course abroad but would I be as satisfied? Nope, not for me. I do not mind trading few years of travelling in my 20's which I can make it up sooner or later when I start working. I also do not want to be a spoilt brat to burden my parents by studying medicine overseas; the course fees, daily expenses and accommodation are able to kill you. Studying abroad definitely gives you a confidence boost (and a reason to show off to your friends) but I would rather be financially stable myself and perhaps get a master degree overseas which would be far more meaningful. (Have you seen any patient who come into the clinics asking which uni you graduated from? Because I don't remember myself or my family asking that in 22 years haha) 

4. I mentioned that I'll be able to make up the travels and master course late on, why? Because being a doctor gives you a head start in your career. You earn a little higher than other jobs, with a good finance management you'd be able to save up a lot for your life commitments in a short time. So why would I consider travelling while having the study stress, financial constraints and knowing that I'm only there to prioritise my studies when I know I can travel without worries later on? :) 

5. It's never a boring job as you get to see different cases every single day. Would I be stuck with computer work all day? Nope. Would I be balancing accounts every day? Nope. Would I even be stuck with only thyroid patients all day? Not likely. Because there's just no predictable time for these diseases. 

DRAWBACKS OF STUDYING MBBS (at least in Malaysia) 

1. I say drawback because in my opinion, there's really no disadvantage to study MBBS. By drawbacks I mean external factors like the people, the training hospitals and the timings. (But mostly the people as they cause all these, lol) 

2. So, the people. What's the problem with them? I was surprised that the most passionate and caring ppl I've encountered are not from healthcare services. Before entering MBBS I expected to meet people who are FARRR more gentle and caring and selfless than anyone I've met or even myself. I don't self-proclaim that I'm super caring and selfless but I would probably be in the average category. But reality? Most of the students are really below average in this aspect. From little things, they can complain about every single matter without thinking deeply into it from different perspectives, basically all they think is themselves perhaps. They can hog onto anything at all and not let others have the chance even if it means they're not going to utilize it. They can break the rules even if it's in hospitals with the reason "we pay so much for MBBS". They can also be extremely irresponsible and you'll never feel like you wanna rely on them, ever. Some bunk classes, some try to outsmart everyone including professors by finding loopholes in the system. But are medical students expected to do all these? Nope. Put your brains to better use pls. 

3. The people, again. As we all know that Malaysia is flooded with medical students. Each training hospital has to accommodate...3-4 universities? That already sounds crowded and unbearable (Oh trust me, it IS). We could actually make things a little bearable by being more logical and tolerable... But nope. It's competitive as hell together with no common sense and self-centered creatures. For twice in a month, I've been wanting to watch procedures but someone would definitely snatch the opportunity- by hogging and running after the patient into the OT even though they KNOW others also want to watch. The OT allows only 2 students at any one time mind you, so their resolution is to RUN faster than you, literally. Compared to having communication skills and ASK if you also want to watch and see how both parties can compensate. But nope. They'd rather keep quiet and prepare to win the run instead. 😂
For the first time I've talked to the two students and ask if they also want to watch and told them off that we've already asked for permission from the person in charge. But the second time I wanted to watch if the girl would do the same as I would, but nope. She was chatting competitively with her classmate and went all "oh shit" and giving us faces knowing we also want to watch, and they come from T*****'*. So... Do they think that they're more superior because their uni is seemingly more established? Or do they assume that the situation would be different if we were to be put in the same examination without showing where we are from? I acknowledge that not all students behave that way but pls, make the learning hospital a more bearable place by adjusting your attitude. Nobody cares if you show it in your household, but not in our future workplace. 

So, for the people part, how would you feel if you know that all of them are potentially your future colleagues? 

4. The training hospital... Some staff are EXTREMELY nice and willing to teach even though they're not paid extra. But some are not even happy seeing your presence. Worst still, some housemen are mean to the medical students. I understand that we are annoying and always bugging to see procedures or asking for signatures, but you were in the same shoes not long ago. Just because you're a step further doesn't give you the rights to look down on us tbh. On the other hand, some of them understand fully and will find cases for us to practice blood taking or other simple procedures, sign for us or even teach us (God bless them really). It would really make my day to meet a nice staff, and it doesn't cost anything to be nice honestly. 😊


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Indifference

Some people say the opposite of love is hate. 

But is it really? 

I feel the opposite of love is indifference and ignorance

If you still hate someone that means that certain person still has power over your emotions. When you come to a state where you no longer care and all that the person does has no power to influence your emotions at all, that's when you stopped caring. And that's the worst state for that person, it means he/she has totally lost you. 

But it's a fresh beginning for you, you've finally set yourself free. And everyone deserves to be set free. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Late night thoughts

Is relationship really what it's showing on social medias? 
The expensive, branded gifts, bouquets of flowers and joint family outings. The smiles and never the tears. 

I personally think with good moments comes ugly reality. There's nothing quite like a "perfect relationship". In a successful relationship, the good outweighs the ugly moments. 

When you love someone, you become vulnerable. Even the most independent individual succumbs to the dependence because, well, everyone wants to be loved and pampered. You give your heart to your significant other and hoping that they'd treat it with care in every move they take only to get yourself disappointed in the end. 

It's especially hard for an independent person cause there's nothing more difficult than saying "I need help". But when they're in a relationship, of course they'd expect you to help since you're the closest person to them.
Here comes the ugly truth, how many people are willing to help INCLUDING your other half? There are times that they can't help due to various reasons and at times it could be unacceptable in your eyes. But what are you supposed to do? Force them to help? You're left with no choice but to depend on yourself again. 
So, my question is, since you're gonna depend on yourself again, why do you need a partner? 

Suddenly, all the freedom living alone vanishes. Relationships are full of sacrifices, disappointments, the tears THEN only the rainbow. 


Would you choose love over independence? 

Sunday, July 26, 2015

💔

Be with someone that secretly figures out your hidden Tumblr account and bothers to go through it every single morning just to know how you feel, and would give you a call or sweet message when he finds out you've been feeling blue through the Tumblr posts. 

Be with someone who messages you first thing in the morning like you would. Someone that thinks of you first thing in the morning and last thing at night. 

Be with someone that surprises you with the little things in life although it may not be expensive, but simple gestures just because. Be with someone who loves you as much as you do or beyond. 

Be with someone who knows you in silence. Be with someone that can read you through your emotions, someone who wipes off your tears and vows to never be the reason of your tears again. 

Be with someone who keeps their promises. Be with someone who would never repeat their mistakes. 

Monday, April 6, 2015

Ability

Few years ago when I was still a teen, I wished to grow up sooner. Few years later, I still wish for the ability to get all the negative influence out of my life. ALL. Every each one of them. I know in a few years time I will be able to. So I guess perseverance is really a virtue. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

As cliche as it sounds, but I don't think anyone fully understands. And no one really bothers to tear down all the walls to get to it either.
 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Living life on a fast track

Lately I feel that... Life is flashing so fast right in front of my eyes. 

When I first entered year 1, I volunteered to be the class representative. Thinking I could be the change I wished to see (hopefully I did) and not knowing or expecting what could come next. Of course there were ups and downs which I'm so proud of myself for overcoming all of those, if not I wouldn't be where I am today (and I still strive to improve ). There were conflicts and backstab but looking back, it doesn't matter even the slightest anymore. If anything I would like to grab a popcorn looking at the flashback if I had to and watch it like a comedy. 

3 months before Year 2 I was nominated to join the SRC (Student Representatitve Council) and MedSoc, I'm so grateful where I ended up and can't thank God enough for all the lessons learnt and priceless experience. From there, I started knowing a lot more people from different walks of life, faculties and people of all sorts of personalities. I started to gain a lot more understanding and patience dealing with them. I also learnt to adapt to busy life like rushing to 2 meetings on the same day after a long day of classes from 8am-4pm (sometimes even right after exam), months of event planning, preparations before event after classes, or even organizing an event via email during my meal time. Busy but contented I would say. I love it because I know I'm living life with a purpose; to serve and to pursue my dream. 

Beside, I love the opportunities that MAHSA Helping Hands grant me with. Volunteering has always been near to my heart but I've stopped volunteering at Make-A-Wish Malaysia ever since I've joined MBBS due to my hectic schedule. But being in the Helping Hands family gives me the greatest chance of volunteering at all different organizations which scheduled perfectly according to our holidays and free time. This makes me feel as if everything is perfectly planned out for me. 

Moving on from university life, my family has been more understanding and silently provides me with the space I need to grow. Personally, I'm not the type of person where I love being controlled. I hate boundaries. I hate it when I'm trapped in a cage. So, freedom and space are the things I need most for growth. I'm so sorry that it seems like I'm falling out of track, but I would ensure anyone that I'm not. It's just that I've realised it's so important to spend time with my friends. I've always been a loner to be honest, I've always had the insecurity that anyone could backstab me so perhaps it's better to stay on the outside while everyone else is having fun being in the circle of friendship. But I believe I've found the right friends and I can't be happier being out with them. I can't thank them enough of how we click and how many common interests we share. 

All in all, I've learnt so much in just a span of few months and still have soooo much to learn along this journey. 😊